What if I’m Not a “Trad” Wife?
This post is written by Audrey Durden.
I LOVE what the trad wife trend has brought us. Western women need to know that not only is it okay to want more traditional values, but it’s achievable to live in the world we do today and also hold fast to Biblical principles for marriage and family. I am a HUGE fan of slow and conscious living, making sure there is purpose and intentionality behind the way you spend your time and who you place yourself around. I feel that a large pro of the trad wife movement is bringing this type of deliberate living back to the forefront of our minds and society at large.
A drawback I see coming from the trad trend is the pressure it puts on women to have a curated, aesthetic life. These influencers who are dominating our FY Pages have a beautiful home that is flawlessly maintained, their sourdough always has the most thorough design with the perfect amount of flour spilling onto their lovely butcher block clock countertop. This portrayal is a very singular and restrictive view in its demonstration of what a traditional life looks like.
While this beautiful aesthetic is very attractive to some people, it might not be attainable (or even wanted) by the majority of couples and families. If you are anything like me, milking a goat at 7 am just isn't something you enjoy doing every day (goat milking is a skill I have, thanks to growing up in the country, and is not an experience I enjoy). Maybe baking is not one of your passions, or growing your own produce is your dream but not something feasible for you, that's alright. This and any other reason do not exclude me or any other woman from being a traditional wife. Though it might make me less popular if I posted about my “trad’ wife life on social media if none of my content was about baking or cows, haha!
Another possibility is that your husband has no desire to live on a farm. I have an experience where an acquaintance wanted a specific lifestyle that her husband wasn't on board with, so this is not attainable for her in the capacity she wanted. Even if this “trad” wife life is a dream you have, it's likely not possible to uproot your life, purchase and possibly renovate a farmhouse, acquire farm animals, homeschool your children, and make a decent living as a farmer. As an added reason that this lifestyle is not something we all need to have, some of us are called to do mission work where we are, not where we could be.
Maybe you or your husband have a great community with good jobs that provide well and it isn't realistic for you to stay at home full time. That is the circumstance for so many in this economy. We know God can use any and every situation for the furtherance of His kingdom. We are called to be a light right where we are! You and/or your husband can reach people with the Gospel in your current roles/jobs (as mine does with his job). We have to remember that our lives have been graciously given to us by our Savior, who can use us every day in the capacity we have add to the citizens of heaven.
Remember “trad” stands for traditional. When we adhere to the Biblical standards for our marriage and family, we are being a trad wife. It's so much less about the aesthetics and so much more about following the Biblical outline we see in scripture and allowing God to work in our lives however He sees fit! Maybe that is through your 9-5, raising your children in the Word, being a dependable friend, through your platform on social media, working on your farm, or simply through a conversation at the grocery store. Our lives, no matter the aesthetic, can mirror God’s love every day.
Smile at the beautiful dresses, gorgeous make-from-scratch meals, and all those cute farm animals, and be thankful that we serve a God who does not care about trends.
